[GUIDE] How to Get Drunk SUPER FAST and SAVE LIVES at the SAME TIME!

So. Let's say you like getting drunk a lot. Let's also say you fancy yourself a bit of a hero and would like an opportunity to go "Yeah, just saved some lives the other day. Feels good man."

Well now you can do both all in the same day! How you ask? Just give blood!

First let me explain a bit about how you actually get drunk.

When you ingest alcohol, the ethanol in said alcohol passes into the bloodstream, causing alcohol intoxication, or drunkenness. It is at a certain percentage that you start feeling drunk, and this is what we are going to use as a basis for the guide today.

The human body contains 8-10 pints of blood. For this guide, let's say 10 pints.

Say you normally get absolutely wankered off two bottles of vodka, a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer, and you plan to get absolutely wankered today. Let's do the maths!

Note: If maths isn't really your thing - when you give blood, to get the amount of drunk you'd normally get off two bottles of vodka, a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer, you'd only have to buy the two bottles of vodka and the bottle of wine, because the same amount of alcohol is going into LESS blood, increasing the blood-alcohol ratio. Money saved! You can skip to the word of warning at the bottom now. :)

The maths bit: 

30 (units in vodka) x 2 = 60

30 (units in wine) = 30

12 (units in 6 pack) = 12

So it normally takes you 102 units altogether to get satisfactorily trashed, so let's divide that by 10 to give us a golden figure of 10.2 per pint of blood.

Now let's say you've just given blood and want to party hard - you've lost a pint of blood so let's do the maths!

If you divide 102 by 9 instead of 10 this time, we get a golden figure of 11.3.

I'll now show you what this actually means by adding up the golden numbers per pint for both 10 pints of blood (10.2) and 9 pints of blood (11.3) until we get to 102 (the agreed number of units it takes to get nicely hammered without giving blood).

10 Pints   |    9 Pints

             

10.2        |       11.3

20.4        |       22.6

30.6        |       33.9

40.8        |       45.2

51.0        |       56.5

61.2        |       67.8

71.4        |       79.1

81.6        |       90.4

91.8        |       101.7

102         |         -

See that? If we get 101.7 (which is the closest to 102 we're gunna get) and take 91.8 away from it (the 10-pint equivalent at this stage), that leaves us with the SAME amount of drunkenness in 9.9 less units of alcohol. That'll save you from having to buy that 6 pack of beer! Extra money in the bank!

A word of warning though, and you won't just hear it from me - you're not really supposed to drink alcohol for 24 hours after you've given blood, and it's pretty much for the reason I've just given throughout the entire guide. You get drunk easier, which means you're more likely to get alcohol poisoning, etc etc.

So if you're going to do this (or just drink excessively in general), make sure you look out for yourselves and be careful - I wouldn't want any harm done to my wonderful readers. :)

Hope you enjoyed today's guide! I read all of yesterday's comments (like I always do :)) and have taken into consideration all of the guide ideas, and plan to eventually write you guys up a guide for each suggestion you've made - you might recognize this guide from one of them... ;)

Until next time,

Paynesdown :)