Tuesday 5 October 2010

[GUIDE] How to Get Drunk SUPER FAST and SAVE LIVES at the SAME TIME!

So. Let's say you like getting drunk a lot. Let's also say you fancy yourself a bit of a hero and would like an opportunity to go "Yeah, just saved some lives the other day. Feels good man."

Well now you can do both all in the same day! How you ask? Just give blood!

First let me explain a bit about how you actually get drunk.

When you ingest alcohol, the ethanol in said alcohol passes into the bloodstream, causing alcohol intoxication, or drunkenness. It is at a certain percentage that you start feeling drunk, and this is what we are going to use as a basis for the guide today.

The human body contains 8-10 pints of blood. For this guide, let's say 10 pints.

Say you normally get absolutely wankered off two bottles of vodka, a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer, and you plan to get absolutely wankered today. Let's do the maths!

Note: If maths isn't really your thing - when you give blood, to get the amount of drunk you'd normally get off two bottles of vodka, a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer, you'd only have to buy the two bottles of vodka and the bottle of wine, because the same amount of alcohol is going into LESS blood, increasing the blood-alcohol ratio. Money saved! You can skip to the word of warning at the bottom now. :)

The maths bit: 

30 (units in vodka) x 2 = 60

30 (units in wine) = 30

12 (units in 6 pack) = 12

So it normally takes you 102 units altogether to get satisfactorily trashed, so let's divide that by 10 to give us a golden figure of 10.2 per pint of blood.

Now let's say you've just given blood and want to party hard - you've lost a pint of blood so let's do the maths!

If you divide 102 by 9 instead of 10 this time, we get a golden figure of 11.3.

I'll now show you what this actually means by adding up the golden numbers per pint for both 10 pints of blood (10.2) and 9 pints of blood (11.3) until we get to 102 (the agreed number of units it takes to get nicely hammered without giving blood).

10 Pints   |    9 Pints
             
10.2        |       11.3
20.4        |       22.6
30.6        |       33.9
40.8        |       45.2
51.0        |       56.5
61.2        |       67.8
71.4        |       79.1
81.6        |       90.4
91.8        |       101.7
102         |         -

See that? If we get 101.7 (which is the closest to 102 we're gunna get) and take 91.8 away from it (the 10-pint equivalent at this stage), that leaves us with the SAME amount of drunkenness in 9.9 less units of alcohol. That'll save you from having to buy that 6 pack of beer! Extra money in the bank!

A word of warning though, and you won't just hear it from me - you're not really supposed to drink alcohol for 24 hours after you've given blood, and it's pretty much for the reason I've just given throughout the entire guide. You get drunk easier, which means you're more likely to get alcohol poisoning, etc etc.

So if you're going to do this (or just drink excessively in general), make sure you look out for yourselves and be careful - I wouldn't want any harm done to my wonderful readers. :)

Hope you enjoyed today's guide! I read all of yesterday's comments (like I always do :)) and have taken into consideration all of the guide ideas, and plan to eventually write you guys up a guide for each suggestion you've made - you might recognize this guide from one of them... ;)

Until next time,

Paynesdown :)

76 comments:

  1. Haha, that was a good read :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you a wizard? That is some amazing findings.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my god! I can't stop laughing! What a great guide XD Looking forward to the next

    ReplyDelete
  4. well if i mever bored after i give blood... thanks for the tip

    ReplyDelete
  5. How to get drunk super fast? Open up any alcoholic drink and chug it, drunkenness achieved.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lol wow that was really interesting to read

    ReplyDelete
  7. well this is interesting

    ReplyDelete
  8. haha thats funny time to go donate some blood

    ReplyDelete
  9. haha i like.

    just donated blood a couple weeks ago, shouldve tried this

    ReplyDelete
  10. Honestly when I give blood I already drink.....

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is genius. 10/10

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some retard is going to die after this :DD

    ReplyDelete
  13. too bad i fucking hate needles. also giving blood hurts more than getting shots! >:|

    ReplyDelete
  14. Funny, I gave blood the other day...

    ReplyDelete
  15. as someone who used to work blood drives at my college, I can attest to this fact

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'll take a Bloody Mary. lol

    ReplyDelete
  17. Did you think/write that all by yourself? Wow, awesome. I lmaod

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lmao, this is actually a really good idea, aside from the health factors, I can totally see how this would work.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Interesting.. I'll have to take this to the bar

    ReplyDelete
  20. drink less get drunk more..LOVE IT

    ReplyDelete
  21. I enjoyed your point of view in this post

    ReplyDelete
  22. also make sure you drink on an empty stomach =)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I never thought of that haha. I enjoy giving blood and being drunk so this is a win =D

    ReplyDelete
  24. this works, tried it out myself, it is tough to keep awake if you have a really late night

    ReplyDelete
  25. Need to actually try this when I drink and save lives XD

    http://quarterqwerty.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. lol I'm amazed you had time for this.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I will be the thriftiest hero ever!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Awesome post. I always heard about guys who go out running to get dehydrated so they get drunk faster, but giving blood? lllllol.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I liked your perspective in this one... I'm going to have to agree with you

    ReplyDelete
  30. Holy shit, its also easy to get a bottle of 151, and chug it for 2 seconds without chase, BAM!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I don't think i can do that math when i'm drunk

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ha I might try it next time i'm goin on the piss :D

    ReplyDelete
  33. Could be a good way to get chicks AND be drunk at the same time "Oh yea, I'm a blood donor, wanna go back to my place and maybe I'll donate some of my other body liquids to you. Wink wink!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Love reading your blog man :) this is really interesting

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hahaha, this is great! Love this kind of posts, keep 'em coming

    ReplyDelete
  36. hahaha i love this, nice tips!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Sell some blood buy some booze

    ReplyDelete
  38. Time to go get drunk! :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. Strangely enough, my mother informed me of this trick. She talked about how she would go straight from the blood bank to the booze shop in her college days, using that hard-earned blood cash to fufill her drinking needs, with less drinks required. I'd be more worried about collapsed veins from giving blood too often than alcohol poison, if you watch yourself that is.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow I think I might give blood now!
    Mesty =)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Ive seen somthing like this before click. click..

    ReplyDelete
  42. If I drink that much alcohol my brain would throw up its hands and say, "fuck this shit", yes my brain would grow hands by that point.

    Good idea anyway, I wouldn't mine tossing a few back after donating next time.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I liked what you said on my blog earlier today... GTL and blogging FTW!

    ReplyDelete
  44. like ur blog man
    supportin

    ReplyDelete
  45. Interesting post. However I won't be doing this. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  46. Who needs a liver anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  47. thanks for this post, i usually don't touch alcohol. but if i ever do. i will try this

    ReplyDelete
  48. haha yeah. I've never actually seen anyone do calculations on it, so it's funny that you have.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Great post! Following your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  50. never really made a connection between giving blood and alcohol. be responsible everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Lol this made me laugh, saving lives and saving money, this is such a brilliant idea, it would work perfectly! I love it

    ReplyDelete
  52. I knew that would work!!

    S!

    ReplyDelete
  53. I don't drink. How does this apply to me? :D

    ReplyDelete
  54. @Nikola I don't think it does lol

    ReplyDelete
  55. what bout directly injecting the alcohol into your blood stream? i remember that did the trick for me once

    ReplyDelete
  56. When it comes to your post, GTL can also stand for "Great Thoughts at Length"... keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  57. This is relevent to my internets

    ReplyDelete
  58. Nice guide man. xD The math is all legit, too.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Ugh, I swore I would never get drunk after the last time I did. Reading the guide brought back horrible memories. Good guide though.

    ReplyDelete
  60. If you drink alcohol faster than your body metabolizes it, the excess alcohol moves through your bloodstream to other parts of your body, particularly your brain. If you've ever gotten a "buzz" when drinking alcohol, that's why. Sobering up takes a long time. There is no way to speed up the rate your body gets rid of alcohol. While small amounts of alcohol leave your body in your urine, sweat and breath, ... She stayed the night at a friend's house.Can Urine Alcohol Tests Detect Drinking?

    how long does alcohol stays in your system

    ReplyDelete
  61. In cirrhosis of the liver, although regenerative activity continues, the loss of liver cells exceeds cell replacement.Marijuana Detox

    ReplyDelete
  62. If you or your near one is addicted, and want to recover from the addiction, some times it is risky to try detox process at home or personally. It is always suggested to take a professional help for an addiction rehab centers. Drug rehab Indy

    ReplyDelete